Metta LovingKindness Meditation
Listen:
06 6-LovingKindness Meditation-Moment to Relax
The following meditations are excerpted from our books:
Luminous Mind: Meditation & Mind Fitness
Wisdom at Work
Love is that flame that once kindled burns everything,
and only the mystery and the journey remain.
– Rumi
Another very simple yet potent practice you can do on a daily basis to revitalize your interconnectedness at a deep level is the practice of radiant love. We especially like to do this one at the end or start of a day, or to celebrate and share the joy of a job well done or a moment well lived, and let it ripple out to the larger community we’re part of in a boundless way. The essence of this reflective prayer and meditation for the cultivation of loving-kindness is the wish that we, and all beings, enjoy happiness and well-being. In Sanskrit, loving-kindness is called maitri which is often translated as “unconditional friendliness.” Here’s how it goes:
Begin by touching your heart, if you like, and smile to yourself in tender appreciation and care. Holding the sincere wish to be of benefit to yourself and others, take a few deep breaths, relax your body, and bring your awareness to the area in the center of your chest around your heart. Continue to breathe naturally and gently with awareness, allowing the region of your heart to open and soften with the movement of the breath flowing through it. Notice any sensations of warmth or tingling there as you deepen your calm awareness.
In this practice, also known as ~ metta ~ we focus initially upon ourselves, recognizing that despite the unwholesome behavior to which we are still prone, and the mental distortions to which we are still subject, at our very core lies an essential purity. There is fathomless potential within for wisdom and compassion, and our very wish for well-being, for happiness, our wish to be free of suffering, may be regarded as an expression of that True Nature. Let it be unveiled, allowing it to manifest its full potential.
From this perspective, cultivate this prayer, aspiration, wish: “May I be free of mental distortions–free of anger, free of grasping, free of confusion. May I be free of the mental and physical suffering that arise from such distortions of the mind. And may I recognize and cultivate those other qualities of my being–loving-kindness and compassion, wisdom and patience–the whole array of wholesome qualities that are there too. For my own well-being and the well-being of others, may these arise, may these flourish. And may I experience the wonderful sense of well being and a wholesome way of life from deep compassion and from deep insight. In this way, may I be well and happy. May my fears and sorrows fall away. May I find a joy that is untainted by anxiety, a joy that comes from my own heart.”
Holding the feeling of this intent and wish for well-being in your heart and mind, repeat the following phrases mentally to yourself first, several times, and then expand the radius of your loving-kindness successively out to wider and wider circles. Go deeply into the meaning and feeling behind the words:
May I be happy and peaceful.
May I be free from fear and pain.
May I live with love and compassion.
And may I fully awaken and be free.
Imagine and affirm this to be so right now, as vividly, as realistically as you can.
Now bring to mind a loved one—someone you respect and care about. When you see this person, the immediate response is one of spontaneous gladness and affection. Like yourself, this person probably has shortcomings as well, is subject to unwholesome activity and mental distortions; but this person too is endowed with True Nature and has the complete capacity for full spiritual awakening. This person, like yourself, wishes to be free of sorrow and to experience true joy. Reflecting in this way, generate the wish: “May this person, like myself, become ever freer of mental distortions and unwholesome behavior, and the sorrow, conflict, and suffering that ensue from them. And may this person find those wholesome qualities and cultivate them by whatever path most effectively nourishes him or her. For the unveiling of this person’s True Nature, may this one, like myself, be truly well and happy, free of unnecessary suffering and grief.”
Reaching out with your heart-mind to embrace your loved ones and friends with the energy of loving-kindness, radiate these thoughts of well-being to them in the same way :
May you be happy and peaceful.
May you be free from fear and pain.
May you live with love and compassion.
And may you fully awaken and be free.
As you hold the image of your loved ones and repeat these phrases, sense or imagine, as vividly as you can, that they are actually touched by the love radiating from your heart and that it is truly helpful for them.
Focus now on someone or a group of people toward whom you feel neutral. It might be a grocery clerk or a gas station attendant, neighbors whom you really don’t know, folks you see on the way to work, or even a person you work with for whom you have no special feeling at all. Recognize that these people too, like yourself, are endowed with True Nature and, like yourself, feel suffering and joy. They may have no spiritual orientation at all, but their experiences of suffering and joy are no less real, no less important. Contemplating in this way, open the radius of your loving-kindness to encompass them as well, and extend your heartfelt prayer: “Like myself, may these persons cultivate wholesome qualities and subdue the unwholesome, and may they too be well and happy, free of unnecessary pain, grief, and fear.” As you repeat these phrases again, bring these people into your heart and wish for them:
May you be happy and peaceful.
May you be free from fear and pain.
May you live with love and compassion.
And may you fully awaken and be free.
Sense or imagine that these wishes and prayers really do support them.
Now, having primed your heart-pump, turn your attention toward a person or several people toward whom your heart is closed with pain, resentment, or negativity–someone that you really don’t like, whom you’d just rather not see at all, not hear at all, not even hear about. Perhaps this person has wronged you or perhaps they simply have some personality characteristics you dislike. Recognize that what we are identifying here are those very distortions, those unwholesome types of activity, that are the source of sorrow, and that this person is subject to them as are you. Just as it is not useful to identify with our own shortcomings, it is likewise not useful to identify another person with their shortcomings, distortions, or afflictions. Recognize that this person, like yourself, wishes to be happy, wishes to be free of sorrow. Maybe the ways of pursuing this goal are confused, but the wish is no less real, the experience of joy and sorrow is no less real. And if this person were to find effective means for rooting out the sources of unnecessary grief and conflict, the very reasons why you are adverse to him or her would vanish, and you would find a lovely person emerging in their place.
Consider, too, that this person or group of people, who are also searching for happiness and hoping to avoid suffering in their own lives, may at some time in the past have actually been kind to you. As you hold them in mind, be merciful with yourself. Let your own heart open to free you from the prison of imbalance you may have created for yourself out of your own anger, fear, or resentment toward the person or persons with whom you are having a hard time, or those relationships you would like to heal. With this perspective it is not hard to aspire: “May this person, like myself, be well and happy. May afflictions fall away. May this person’s beauty emerge and their True Nature be unveiled.” Letting your heart open to them as best you can, radiate these thoughts of loving-kindness:
May you be happy and peaceful.
May you be free from fear and pain.
May you live with love and compassion.
May you fully awaken to your greatest potential, and be free of any ignorance and confusion that leads you to act in unskillful ways.
And imagine it to be so.
Visualize yourself surrounded now by all your circles of supportive relationships, and invite into your loving awareness all the networks of support, visible and invisible, known and unknown, near and far, that make up the circle of living beings, the web of life. Expand your love and care equally to this larger field, just as the sun shines its life-giving rays equally to all. In this same way—with great equanimity to all living beings<\#209>extend the radius of your loving-kindness to all your loved ones and friends; to all the strangers or neutral people in your life; to all the people toward whom your heart has been closed; to all the humans and non-humans who search for happiness, harmony, and balance on their fleeting journeys through life. And, imagining that this vast circle of relations joins you as you open your heart to include and embrace all beings, extend the waves of loving-kindness out now in all directions:
May all beings (or, may we all) be happy and peaceful.
May all beings be free from fear and pain.
May all beings live with love and compassion.
And may all beings awaken to the light of their own True Nature and be free!
Let these wishes radiate to all the beings to the east. To all beings to the west; to all beings to the south; to all beings to the north. Let these wishes reach out to all beings above you and below you. To all beings in this world, in all worlds. In this time and in all times.
As you bring this meditation to a close, imagine gathering all the energy and light you have generated through this series of contemplations. Allow this quality of awareness to express itself in form by imagining a pearl of radiant, white light of the nature of purity, of the nature of loving-kindness, which is of the very essence of our own True Nature. Imagine this pearl of radiant, brilliant, white light at your heart and, from an inexhaustible source, allow that light to suffuse every cell of your body, thoroughly saturating it with the light of loving-kindness and purification.
Now imagine the body being so filled that it is no longer able to contain this light: rays of light emerge in all directions, front and back, left and right, upward and downward. An inexhaustible source of light flows forth in all directions as an expression of your loving-kindness, your loving concern for all beings who, like yourself, aspire for happiness and wish to be free from suffering. Imagine these rays of light touching individuals all about you in your neighborhood, in your city, illuminating the environment, bringing well-being and food where there is poverty and starvation, rain where there is drought, harmony where there is conflict, peace where there is hatred. And let that light expand around the entire globe and beyond.
In this way, we dedicate and direct the merit and spiritual power of this practice not just to our own isolated, individual well-being, but to the well-being and peace of the entire world, to all beings without exception. In this way we give all that we have, and receive even more in return. If you close your meditation session at least once a day with this, it will add a greater dimension to your whole practice and will be of greater benefit to you and to the people with whom you come in contact.
After your meditation session is over, continue to carry the natural radiance of this love with you wherever you go. Let the jewel of loving-kindness and compassion shine in your heart like a luminous sun, bathing the world and all beings within it in the light of love that radiates through you as a blessing for the world. When your awareness of it fades, reenergize it by using the phrases and images offered above, and let the light of your love light up your world.
The Buddha’s Words on Kindness This is what should be doneBy one who is skilled in goodness,
And who knows the path of peace:
Let them be able and upright,
Straight forward and gentle in speech.
Humble and not conceited,
Contented and easily satisfied.
Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.
Peaceful and calm, and wise and skillful,
Not proud and demanding in nature.
Let them not do the slightest thing
That the wise would later reprove.
Wishing: In gladness and in safety,
May all beings be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be;
Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,
The great or the mighty, medium, short or small,
The seen and the unseen,
Those living near and far away,
Those born and to-be-born,
May all beings be at ease!
Let none deceive another,
Or despise any being in any state.
Let none through anger or ill-will
Wish harm upon another.
Even as a mother protects with her life
her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Should one cherish all living beings:
Radiating kindness over the entire world
Spreading upwards to the skies,
And downwards to the depths;
Outwards and unbounded,
Freed from hatred and ill-will.
Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down
Free from drowsiness,
One should sustain this recollection.
This is said to be the sublime abiding.
By not holding to fixed views,
The pure-hearted one, having clarity of vision,
Being freed from all sense desires,
Is not born again into this world (of suffering.)
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Metta Chant from Imee Ooi’s Audio posted above
May I be free from enmity & danger,
May I be free from mental suffering,
May I be free from physical suffering,
May I take care of myself happily.
May my parents, teachers, relatives & friends, fellow dharma-farers,
May they be free from enmity & danger,
May they be free from mental suffering,
May they be free from physical suffering,
May they take care of themselves happily.
May all yogis in this compound,
Be free from enmity & danger,
Be free from mental suffering,
Be free from physical suffering,
May they take care of themselves happily.
May all monks in this compound, novice monks, laymen & laywomen disciples,
May they be free from enmity & danger,
May they be free from mental suffering,
May they be free from physical suffering,
May they take care of themselves happily.
May all donors of the four supports – clothing, food, medicine, and lodging,
Be free from enmity & danger,
Be free from mental suffering,
Be free from physical suffering,
May they take care of themselves happily.
May all guardian devas in this monastery, in this dwelling, in this compound,
May the guardian devas be free from enmity & danger,
Be free from mental suffering, be free from physical suffering,
May they take care of themselves happily.
May all beings, all breathing things, all creatures, all individuals, all personalities,
May all females, all males, all Noble ones, all worldlings, all deities, all humans,
All those in the four woeful planes,
May they be free from enmity & danger,
May they be free from mental suffering,
May they be free from physical suffering,
May they take care of themselves happily.
May all beings be free from suffering, May whatever they have gained not be lost,
All beings are owners of their karma.
In the eastern direction, in the western direction,
In the northern direction, in the southern direction,
In the southeast direction, in the northwest direction,
In the northeast direction, in the southwest direction,
In the direction below, in the direction above.
May all beings, all breathing things, all creatures, all individuals, all personalities,
All females, all males, all Noble ones, all worldlings, all deities, all humans,
All those in the four woeful planes.
May they be free from enmity & danger,
May they be free from mental suffering,
May they be free from physical suffering,
May they take care of themselves happily.
May all beings be free from suffering.
May whatever they have gained not be lost.
All beings are owners of their karma.
As far as the highest plane of existence to as far down as the lowest plane,
In the entire universe,
Whatever beings that move on earth,
May they be free from mental suffering & enmity,
May they be free from physical suffering & danger.
As far as the highest plane of existence to as far down as the lowest plane
In the entire universe,
Whatever beings that move on water,
May they be free from mental suffering & enmity,
May they be free from physical suffering & danger.
As far as the highest plane of existence to as far down as the lowest plane,
In the entire universe,
Whatever beings that move in air,
May they be free from mental suffering & enmity,
May they be free from physical suffering & danger.
May I be free from enmity & danger,
May I be free from mental suffering,
May I be free from physical suffering,
May I take care of myself happily…
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A Related Practice:
Heart to Heart
Imagine in the space in front of you someone toward whom you feel much tenderness, friendship, love, or compassionate concern. This might evoke an image of a loved one, a close friend, even a pet. As vividly as possible, imagine the presence of this person in the space before you—either seeing them in your mind’s eye or simply imagining them there before you now. Allow yourself to get in touch with the genuine sense of love and care that you feel for this being.
Now begin to focus on this person’s heart—not the physical organ that pumps blood, but that center of feeling and love at the “heart” of each person. Reach out now–actually raising your arms and reaching out with your hands–and imagine cradling in your hands this person’s place of deepest feeling, really touching their heart. Imagine that as you breathe in, a feeling of love and care wells up within you and fills your own heart. As you exhale, this wellspring of love within you–visualized as streams of light or energy–flows from your heart out through your arms and hands and pours gently into this person’s heart. Reach out now from your heart. In a deep and silent way, offer this love and care, and imagine that it is being received by your loved one or friend in the way he or she most needs at this time.
Now, imagine that this person reaches back to touch your heart. Imagine your eyes meeting in recognition and appreciation and understanding. Imagine seeing each other with total love and forgiveness. Let any memories that block your hearts be dissolved and healed in the joy of this heart-to-heart meeting. Imagine looking deeply into one another’s eyes with heartfelt love and respect and understanding. Feel the satisfaction and the intimacy of this flow between you.
Now, focus your attention on the image of your loved one or friend. Imagine the image of this person condensing into a small bright sphere of light that you tenderly hold in your hands.
As you breathe, gently place this luminous sphere in the center of your own heart. Imagine it shining brightly, like a gently glowing sun that shines with a light of love and peacefulness, dispelling any darkness within or around you.
Now, with both of your hands reach up and touch your own heart. As you breathe, imagine filling your heart with feelings of love directed toward yourself. Imagine what it is like to be here fully for yourself with the same love and care that you offer to others.
Understanding that it is difficult to receive the love and care of others if you are unable to give love even to yourself, breathe it in now. Feel the sense of genuine love for yourself well up within your entire being. Use the natural cycles of the breath to circulate this feeling of love, moving from your heart out through your arms and hands and back into your heart again. Feel what it’s really like to be here for yourself.
As you establish this flow between your hands and heart, begin to extend and circulate this feeling through your whole body. With each breath send ripples of love and care from your heart out to every cell and fiber of your body, to every nook and cranny of your mind. Fill yourself with love. Fill yourself with light. Let it move and flow and circulate through every dimension of your being. Send this loving light to those regions that are in pain or that cry out for attention. Let this love flow as light to dissolve any seeds of disease that may lie hidden in your mind or body. Imagine this light vitalizing and strengthening your undeveloped potential for love, wisdom, power, and understanding.
Breathing gently now, imagine yourself filled with light, filled with love. Begin to feel the power and the presence of this love and light within you. Begin to shine it out into the world.
Resting in this vitalized state, imagine beaming your feelings of well-being and love out to dispel any darkness or fear in the world. From your heart, send ripples of this loving light, directed to your loved ones and friends, to all who live in suffering or fear, to all those leaders with the power to help or harm. Imagine this light as a beacon of love, a broadcast of caring, that will be received by others in the way that they most need to be touched at this time.
Now simply rest in the flow of the breath. Effortlessly be filled. Effortlessly extend who you are and what you have to offer, to yourself…to others…to everyone, in whatever way they need it.Radiate your own love and light out into the world. Imagine it bringing light into darkness. Imagine it fanning the powerful flames of wisdom, love, and understanding in the hearts and minds of others.
Take a moment to appreciate how the inner changes you’re making within yourself are touching the world in wonderful ways. Appreciate how these quiet moments of inner work have generated an atmosphere of greater harmony, balance, and well-being in the world.